Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Deadly Flu

Despite her best efforts to tell the family of the evil nature of the pig, the next morning Charlotte awoke and to her horror saw Fern playing with the devil.

"I'm going to take care of you until you're the blue ribbon winner at the state fair!" said the young girl.

Wilbur just smiled... smiled the smile of centuries of evil. He began to slowly back into the barn, and Fern looked worried.

"Where are you going Wilbur?" she asked.

But Wilbur knew exactly how to trap this unsuspecting girl. She would pay for her father's discretion. And he slowly led her back into the barn, where his pot of Swine Flu was sitting, and waiting to infect all of human kind.

Charlotte could not stand for it. She watched as Fern leaned over the bubbling poison.

"What's this?" asked Fern. And Wilbur was silent. Waiting for Fern to lean closer... closer... so he could finish the task that Swines had been planning for centuries: infect the world with this dreaded disease.

Charlotte knew she had to act fast. She began to spin her silk... she knew she would need plenty.

Fern leaned ever so closer. Wilbur waited patiently. Oh so patiently. One more inch and her fulcrum would be off centered. The perfect time to shove the unsuspecting girl into the disease.

She leaned in more. Charlotte saw, and spun as fast as she could.

Charlotte knew that now was the only time to act. As she watched the devil pig rear it's hideous small head to push young Fern into the disease. Charotte swung forward. Wilbur began to charge, but saw the fierce spider flying through the air.

"Stop, in the name of HUMAN KIND!" Charlotte screamed! Wilbur looked at the spider, they began to fight. Charlotte viciously beat Wilbur with her eight limbs... Wilbur squealed and whined, trying to get a good angle at the small spider with his small hoofs.

But a pig's strength is nothing compared to this heroic spider. As the scuffle continued, Wilbur got a sturdy kick lodged into Charlotte's weak underside. She wheezed, but as she rose for another blow she saw the pig's weakness. His nose was bleeding... she knew this was where she had to strike. She flew towards the evil pig, and struck him squarely in the nose. He wheezed, and fell to the ground. She pulled out her knife and slit his throat. As Wilbur's spirit left him the sound of freight trains, children's screams and nails on a chalkboard permeated the air. The evil was dead.

Charlotte was victorious, but as she turned she felt the internal bleeding in her underside. Wilbur had landed a fatal blow. She looked up... in the scuffle, Fern had fallen in the Swine Flu potion.

"Fern!" cried Charlotte. "I have failed you... all my efforts were in vain!"

Fern stared at the dying spider, the sickness beginning to infect her.

"I'm so sorry, Fern... so so sorry." Charlotte said in her last gasps of air. And without a noise, her eyes became glass. She had died.

Fern looked around. She looked at her infected body, covered in the horrible horrible swine flu disease potion.

Fern contracted Swine Flu.

She was pretty much totally fine after about two weeks.

The Warning

And that night Charlotte worked. And she worked and worked and worked. She had to tell the farm exactly what this pig was planning, and what he was capable of.

And she created in her web a beautiful warning. The lettering was pristine. And she knew this message would ring true to the ears of the young girl, Fern.

And the message went out.

"Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa facist?" Questioned the goose. But Charlotte paid no attention to the stuttering water fowl.

Reasoning with the Devil Pig

Charlotte knew that she couldn't let this young pig get away with murder. But she crawled up to the rafters to watch as the young Swine began mixing poisons. She couldn't take it any more.

"Hello," said Charlotte.

"Hello back," said Wilbur, the devil pig.

"I couldn't help but notice what you were doing!" said Charlotte.

"Oh yes, this? It's nothing," replied Wilbur. "I'm sure you've heard of revenge... that's all this is... horrible horrible revenge.

"And what are you planning on doing?"

And Wilbur began to explain his devil plan.

"Well, that horrible human wanted to kill me for being so small... but he doesn't realize that the meek shall inherit, and that the small have just as much, if not more, brains than the large brutes out there. So I'm concocting a disease... an incredibly awful disease to punish all those who have betrayed me."

"Oh," said Charlotte. "And what will you be calling it?"

"Swine Flu," replied Wilbur.

They both heard a noise near the wall. Wilbur turned his horrible devil eyes toward the noise and saw a lone rat.

"Hi, I'm templeton!" said the rat. Wilbur threw some of the poison at the rat, and it promptly died.

"I will crush these humans with this swine flu as I crushed this rat."

And Wilbur let out a hoarse, evil laugh that barked to the moon and echoed throughout the farm.

And Charlotte shuddered. She had to warn the farm.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The runt of the litter

Once there was a young pig named Wilbur who was born the runt of the litter. Wilbur was small, so small that Mr. Arable took one look at him and decided that this pig was too small too live. But as he took him out back ready to kill the young creature, his daughter, a young girl named Fern, ran up to her father.

"You can't kill him dad!" Fern said.

"Some pig's is just too small to live," said Mr. Arable.

"He didn't do anything wrong, dad! Let him live! I'll take care of him," said Fern, and Mr. Arable agreed. He let Wilbur run free, and Fern loved him with all of her might.

But oh how this pig remembered that he was going to be killed, and lo how he longed for revenge against the man determined to put an ax to his throat. And as he looked at young fern, he realized that the worst punishment he could ever give to Mr. Arable was to infect this young Fern with a horrible disease.

Revenge will be his... and soon the farm will know the name of Wilbur.

Some pig!

He was some pig!

And he knew his ambition would get him far... maybe even to the grand prize at the state fair as he stood over the dead bodies of those who thought he would never make it.

And Wilbur returned to the barn and began his plot and his research. But one curious spider saw what the pig was doing. Her name was Charlotte. And come hell or high water she wasn't going to let this pig get away with it. She would stop him, with whatever force or writing skills she had.

And she cried the bitter tears of the spider.