Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Deadly Flu

Despite her best efforts to tell the family of the evil nature of the pig, the next morning Charlotte awoke and to her horror saw Fern playing with the devil.

"I'm going to take care of you until you're the blue ribbon winner at the state fair!" said the young girl.

Wilbur just smiled... smiled the smile of centuries of evil. He began to slowly back into the barn, and Fern looked worried.

"Where are you going Wilbur?" she asked.

But Wilbur knew exactly how to trap this unsuspecting girl. She would pay for her father's discretion. And he slowly led her back into the barn, where his pot of Swine Flu was sitting, and waiting to infect all of human kind.

Charlotte could not stand for it. She watched as Fern leaned over the bubbling poison.

"What's this?" asked Fern. And Wilbur was silent. Waiting for Fern to lean closer... closer... so he could finish the task that Swines had been planning for centuries: infect the world with this dreaded disease.

Charlotte knew she had to act fast. She began to spin her silk... she knew she would need plenty.

Fern leaned ever so closer. Wilbur waited patiently. Oh so patiently. One more inch and her fulcrum would be off centered. The perfect time to shove the unsuspecting girl into the disease.

She leaned in more. Charlotte saw, and spun as fast as she could.

Charlotte knew that now was the only time to act. As she watched the devil pig rear it's hideous small head to push young Fern into the disease. Charotte swung forward. Wilbur began to charge, but saw the fierce spider flying through the air.

"Stop, in the name of HUMAN KIND!" Charlotte screamed! Wilbur looked at the spider, they began to fight. Charlotte viciously beat Wilbur with her eight limbs... Wilbur squealed and whined, trying to get a good angle at the small spider with his small hoofs.

But a pig's strength is nothing compared to this heroic spider. As the scuffle continued, Wilbur got a sturdy kick lodged into Charlotte's weak underside. She wheezed, but as she rose for another blow she saw the pig's weakness. His nose was bleeding... she knew this was where she had to strike. She flew towards the evil pig, and struck him squarely in the nose. He wheezed, and fell to the ground. She pulled out her knife and slit his throat. As Wilbur's spirit left him the sound of freight trains, children's screams and nails on a chalkboard permeated the air. The evil was dead.

Charlotte was victorious, but as she turned she felt the internal bleeding in her underside. Wilbur had landed a fatal blow. She looked up... in the scuffle, Fern had fallen in the Swine Flu potion.

"Fern!" cried Charlotte. "I have failed you... all my efforts were in vain!"

Fern stared at the dying spider, the sickness beginning to infect her.

"I'm so sorry, Fern... so so sorry." Charlotte said in her last gasps of air. And without a noise, her eyes became glass. She had died.

Fern looked around. She looked at her infected body, covered in the horrible horrible swine flu disease potion.

Fern contracted Swine Flu.

She was pretty much totally fine after about two weeks.

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